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Monday, March 10, 2008

Expectations from your children

Do you have any expectations from your child/children? Well I guess many of us do, but for me, I can clearly say I DO NOT have any expectations from them, except that they grow up to be good people. Filial Piety - these two words are ever so common in our Asian world. To me, these two words all boils down to a family's upbringing. Your actions, words greatly affects your children. Take for example my family. I grew up in a very warm n loving environment (as in, hugging n kissing your children runs FREELY in my family, no awkwardness whatsoever) We are taught to respect our elders, and whoever raises their voice will get either a stern warning or some light smacking. I remember from a young age, my late maternal grandpa (someone whom I miss very dearly)often bringing me out, teaching me the wonderful world or nature (we spend many many hours in Botanic Gardens), but the most important thing he taught me was LOVE. Grandpa was kind even to people who was bad towards us or even to him. He told me that everyone was born kind n good, we should treat everyone as equal, even the garbage collector has his pride, and being a garbage collector is a decent job, no stealing, no cheating. He also taught me from a tender age to love my Mother n Father. For they're the ones who brought me into this world. Love, just doesn't mean giving them hugs or kisses, but to show them care n concern when they're down, sick etc. In short, ah gong was a good man. Why do I say that? Just looking at my uncles, my mom and aunt is enough.

I wasn't born into a wealthy family, we had a tight budget, but my mother saved n saved to buy me a piano as well as lessons (this I'm eternally grateful). Though money was tight, we never let it become a big issue not talk endlessly about it, sure money is important, but family ties takes a bigger role play. So to set the records straight n clear, whether or not I'm staying in a BIG HOUSE is not important, infact, to me its nothing special, I've been staying in my mom's best friend's bungalow since young during holidays, so I don't get GAGA over staying in a Semi-D. If I were to choose I rather stay in a flat!

Anyway, back to the topic... My parents brought me up without any expectations as in 'oh u must take care of me when I'm old', or u must give me money, or u must stay with me after u marry, oh u must this n that.... They are not perfect people but I dare say they've instill in me very valuable morals. So for me, I do not have any expectations from Meia n Max. They came choose to stay alone after marriage, have they own homes etc (so long as they don't do drugs, or smoke). Neither do I expect them to take care of me when I'm old (I hope I'm old n healthy), I do not want to be a burden to my kids. Like me, my parents have the same thinking. So what if I'm staying in a semi-d, not everyone haggles to stay in a big house. My parents are happy just staying in their 4A-room HDB flat and they don't expect me to take care of them or ask them to stay with me. But a daughter is a daughter for LIFE. I'll still care for them when their old.

So Meia n Max. Mommy just wants u to lead a good, decent, healthy n happy life. When u grow up, all mommy ask is for u to remember me as your mother. Lead your own life, have your own family, but always remember, family ties are more important than anything else in this world. Meia, this is the reason why mommy brought your brother Max into this world, so both of u have each other for company when all else fails n when I depart from this world (I hate to think of that because I can't bear to leave the two of u).... shucks... tears in my eyes now...

Mommy has her share of disappointments, likes n dislikes, but I won't impose that on u my darling children. Both of u are my EVERYTHING! I love u!

1 Comments:

Blogger May said...

well said, cannot agree more.

10:17 PM  

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