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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Thoughts

The following all stemmed from hb not wanting Meia walking around the living room with a piece of bun in her hand.....

I've been a mom for the past 20 months, seriously, I do not think I've done a good job. Hb sorta 'blames' me for Meia's tantrums, in his words 'its because of u that she's like that'.... his words really HIT me. I told him that I do not entertain her tantrums (i.e rolling n lying on the floor)... he tells me not to push the blame on MIL n its me who needs to educate her. YES I am AWARE, infact, very aware that its MY responsibility to discipline n guide Meia n not simply raise my voice (okie, I'm guilty of that)... but I'm not the only one in the house.... neither am I shifting the blame on my MIL.

Yes, we should always explain to Meia that we do not like her bad behaviour n tantrums. And I do hope that she understands what we're trying to tell her. Honestly, I'm already trying my BEST... but somehow I feel its not my very BEST.... being a Mother is tough. Especially if u're a SAHM like me. Everyone blames me for all the 'bad' side of Meia, no one mentions a word about the 'good' stuff I taught her... everyone reminds me that I spoil her (as if they're not guilty of anything), everyone tells me the what nots etc.... if I were to go on, the list would be endless.

I read about SAHMs doing a very good job in raising their kids, ppl start to compare how I 'make' Meia to be (being clingy etc), they start to say 'oh only u do this, other kids aren't like u', 'I see other kids so well mannered...' Actually these are all the 'WHAT U DO NOT ACTUALLY SEE'. I believe all kids have their good n bad sides. Meia is not all bad, yes, she may have her tantrums n to us, it may seem she's the ultimate 'devil' while others are 'angels'...

SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIG SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will I EVER DO A GOOD JOB??????? how I wish there wasn't any comparison....

It isn't easy, really, it isn't easy. Seriously I don't even know how to end this post.... which mom out there doesn't want a well mannered kid, a docile angel with no temper, no tantrums.... u'll probably got urself a Barbie doll in that case.......

6 Comments:

Blogger Ash Mummy said...

May, every kid sure has their own tantrums....just that we never see the "bad" side of other kids.My dad always tells me if a kid is not active or never fuss,cry etc etc then we as parents got to panic...hmm i find it quite true in a sense.

There was once a i saw a kid throwing very bad tantrum in public then i realise "hey! my ash is not the ONLY ONE doing that in public so i shldnt be so worked up at times like that" ok after consoling myself i feel better :P

11:45 AM  
Blogger ETCL said...

yalor May, you're doing v well liao... when i complain bt C to my aunt, she n my uncles will always say of cos Active n Paisi is gd.... my cousin's sil's kid is by her inlaws standard SO GUAI WUN RUN LIKE SIAO LANG kind... then in the end, the kids mom says she's showing signs of autism....

kids r kids, muz give them room to explore n play mah.... yes, sometimes they r testing waters, but if they know we dun condone tt kind of behaviour, they'll do it less frequently... its more of a phase i guess....

*HUGS* dun let this get u down ok? you're doing fine :)

6:39 PM  
Blogger ETCL said...

Ooops, thats me Em.... having probs accessing my old a/c leh...

6:40 PM  
Blogger Mama Lee said...

May, don't take it to heart. What ash mummy mention make sense.

Wait my confinement lady will tell you how my Jacia behave when she was in her bad mood...hee hee!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Wenzel 宛仟 said...

Hey May yiyi, dun feel sad, dun feel down. My mimi also has to tolerate my very bad tantrums almost everyday. Papa is always not so tolerant one.

People always say I'm what my mimi 'mould' me to be like but mimi juz dun give a damn to what others say including the people around us. Wait till they come and discipline me and they will noe what it's like.

Dun get too affected by what was being mentioned and control ur emotion. Dun let this affect ur bb in ur tum tum. Try talking out how u feel to ur hubby. He might hv said it unintentionally. U noe, mimi always say men are insensitive to women's feeling. He might not noe he has hurt u deeply.

Hope u r already at the healing state. :)

4:02 PM  
Blogger jean said...

hi may, i understand how you feel when you mentioned about your husband comment and others too. As long as you have done your part in teaching and guiding Meia, there is no need to put unnecessary stress on yourself.

7:55 AM  

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