When my very good friend Betty was pregnant with her 2nd child, she mentioned to me that she felt really sad that once her baby boy comes out, her daughter would have to share her love with her sibling. I wasn't pregnant then and really didn't know how it felt. My answer to her was not to feel bad or sad n that its a good thing that she has provided her daughter with a sibling to grow up with. Honestly, I didn't know her feelings were so deep and I didn't know how she felt until recently when I fell pregnant.
Betty's words just flowed right back into my mind.... and I thought to myself, will I be able to love another baby as much as I love Meia, my first born? Now that I'm into my 5th month of pregnancy, these feelings hit me even more. How will Meia adjust to her baby brother? How will I share my love n balance my time between 2 babies? Like what some of my gfs say, both are like the flesh on my hand. The endless whatifs, suddenly make me feel so BAD..... the feelings are worse when I lose my temper at Meia, I don't know, my a wave of guilt just HITS me!!! Wham Bam!!!! N to make mataters worse, I find it so hard to tear myself away from Meia. I guess she has such a big place in my heart.... I guess all mommies here will understand how I feel.
I've been spending more time with Meia these days, feeling better now so I'm bringing her out more often. I'm afraid when Max comes I wouldn't be able to have that sort of luxury. Yesterday I brought her to Tangs n Takashimaya. She had such a wonderful time n it brings joy to my heart just seeing my little Twinkle Star with that Megawatt smile of hers.
I hope I'll be able to handle 2 babies at the same time. I pray that Meia takes to her baby brother and most importantly I hope to have a fair heart, to be able to love them equally. Just a few days ago, I read an article from a magazine that a Mother's Love is like an endless well, in short it knows no boundaries.
I hope my love will be like the Universe, neverending boundaries.