Fuwa Dolls

I had actually wanted to get the dolls at Watsons, but I had to spend $80 worth of J&J products just to get a doll, and $400 worth of J&J products to get all 5!!!! even for one doll its considered very expensive. So I got my brother in law, who's working in Shanghai to get the Fuwa dolls for me. I got them for $74, for a set of 5 dolls.

Reminising...

Sigh... after the birth of my kids, my looks have changed... for the WORST!!!!! I was looking at some pictures and so far I think this is the nicest pix of me... when Meia was 10 months old. Pix taken at Ashlyn's one year old birthday party.

Happy 35 Months Meia

Just a month more to go n she turns 3!!!!!! The horrible twos are still around and I'm wondering when they'll disappear....

Anyway, here's wishing u, My Lil Darling a very Happy 35 months! Stay healthy n cheery always!

Love
Mommy

Me

I guess of late I'm slowly morphing into a Monster Mommy (as what Meia calls me when I'm angry). I don't why this is happening so much, or should I say the Devil in me is showing up every single day. Long gone are the days when u see a very patient n loving mommy explaining things nicely to her kid. These days, you see a cane welding me, yelling at the top of my voice to her soon to turn 3 year old daughter. Yes, this isn't a very good sign. I've noticed it myself. Even though I told myself to lessen the yelling n screaming, I say with deep regret that I'm unable to control myself at times.

I never expected myself to use the cane on Meia, let alone leave deep angry red marks on her little legs. Each time I mete out a stroke in anger (I'm so ashame to say this, I made no effort to control my strength at times), hearing Meia's cries n the fear in her face, my heart just breaks! But why I'm I still causing her pain? Though I know darn well how much it would hurt her n how it would bring deep regret in me.

Meia - my firstborn. It took me so long just to conceive her, it wasn't easy, so when news of my pregnancy was confirmed, I swore to myself that I'll be the most wonderful Mother.... what happened? Memories of 3 years ago floated back to me one night after putting the kids to bed. I looked at Meia's angelic sleeping face and I suddenly hated myself so much or should I say I felt so disgusted with myself. How could I inflict so much pain on my very young daughter. She's only 3 and I expect her to behave like a 10 yr old? I shouldn't be doing this to my first born. I started to put myself in her shoes... What have I become? I'm no longer a Mother, but a monster... a terrible red eye screaming yelling monster. Here is someone who adores n loves me so much (I should say unconditional love), to her I'm her Everything! BUT look at how I've treated her.... its so sad, so sad. I ask myself time n again this question I'm I a good Mother? She's afterall going through the phase of growing up... this phase will pass, she's still a kid, I mean, how can u treat your own kid this way? I'm really cruel I think.... big sigh...

Suddenly I recalled what Michael told me one day when I exploded 'What happened to the patient gal I knew? Do u remember last time the two of u did everything together?' That remarked shook me n brought tears to my eyes... even now I feel like crying when I think about those days when I did everything with Meia. The very first time I took Meia out in my sarong, I carried her everywhere... from 4 months I carried her kangaroo style, 5th month I carried her at the hips once her spine was stronger. Everyday we would go for walks or even shopping at J8. I took the bus, train, cab. Just Meia, Me the diaper bag n my faithful sarong, we travelled Singapore. I slung her all the way till the day I delivered Max. I remembered the airport trip I made with her when I was in my 8th month. Just the two of us, but we enjoyed each other's company so much. Miss those times...

I often ask myself why can't I be like before. Meia must be thinking about that too. She must be thinking mommy doesn't love her anymore... it hurts me, but I think it hurts her more. I hate myself, really... totally disgusted....

I'm praying everyday that I won't be consumed with so much anger. I really want all the shoutings to stop.

Max in Kiddy ride

Some quick updates

For starters, time really files. Meia will be turning 3 next month n Max, we'll see the end of babyhood n the start of toddlerhood, or should I say the beginning of the Terrible Twos??? In another 4 months or so, my 3rd baby will be making her grand entrance. Everything will change by then, in a way, I wouldn't be so free to go on shopping / field trips with my kiddos. Gotta stay home n handle 3 till the baby is much older n easier to handle.

If not for the rain today, I would have been out busy choosing party decorations for the two little terrors! I managed to dig out the 1st Birthday Banner from Meia's party 2 years ago, but I found it rather girlish as its in pink n has butterfly motifs on it.... sigh.... looks like I gotta really be hardworking this time round, not much time left...

Goodie bags ready, cakes have been chosen. Balloons bought, so now left the food n decors only.

The kids have obviously grown alot! Meia is at the 'pushing her luck' age... she's also able to understand feelings better, can articulate her thoughts better. She's still not speaking Mandarin, although we spend time conversing in Mandarin... blame it on me... I've been speaking English to her since birth and so did the hubby (who now blames me for creating a 'chao ah moh)ehhhh come to think of it, who's the one who wanted to teach her the proper QUEEN'S ENGLISH?????? Men.......... but one thing that hasn't changed is that She is still as sticky as ever to me....

Max,is a very gentle n lovable little boy. After his bout of high fever (which left me with many sleepless nites n a day at KKH) he suddenly just grew up so fast! Suddenly a week after recovery he could crawl on all fours (at 9 mths abit slow lah)and recently he has started cruising. He's such a cheerful boy. Whenever he hears music he'll bounce to the rhythm and his all time fav is Bob the Builder Theme hahaha. I should upload a video of him bouncing if I've the time.

No 3 the little princess is now happily kicking away in my tum tum.... most probably its because I ain't seating in a position she likes haha but I don't care cos its more comfy this way to have my legs up on the bed. She isn't anything new because 1st she's a gal and will inherit all of Meia's stuff. (Hahaha another excuse for me to shop for Meia)

My house is getting messier as the days past, more toys are piling up! Although I'm staying in landed property, there never seems enough space. But I'm planning to pack n donate some of the toys that have gotten out of her favour (in cold palace already). I gotta stop lazing around n get down to packing.

Ok enough blogging, I gotta rest....

Detailed Scan at 19 Weeks

Woke up to a bright n sunny day. Brought the hb n kids to KKH for my detailed scan. We were all very excited, but me, I was dead NERVOUS though its already my 3rd baby. Didn't have to wait long and after 15 mins, my name was called n I went into the room.

Baby was lying face down. Seems like all my kids love this position. Anyway, though it wasn't a very good position, the Sonographer went ahead to check the spine, kidneys, lungs, feet, hands and whatever she could. She then told me to take a walk, eat or drink something n to go back to her in 30 mins. I did as I was told n went down to find hb n kids. Hahaha I went to the foodcourt for a bowl of porridge instead!

Went back after 30 mins and was called back into the room. I told my baby to be good n to turn so that we could finish the scan n I could go for my gynae's appointment. I laid down, pulled my pants down slightly, sono poured cold liquid gel on my tum. Guess what??? The baby was still FACED DOWN!!!!!!!!! the normally active one was actually sound ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I was told to go for a walk AGAIN n go back in 30 mins.... so I went down to the Private Suite n informed my gynae that I was still stuck upstairs.

Walked past Prima Deli n got myself a sandwich. I ate it n told the baby to be good. Went up, sat down n read the papers. Finally the food woke the baby up!!!!!! Kicking n punching... good lah I thought to myself.... n was quite confident that the lil one would turn. 10 mins later I heard my name n walked into the room... told the sono that the baby has woke up and she can finish the scan. THE BABY WAS STILL FACED DOWNED!!!!!!!!!!! Man!!!!!! No 3 is the naughtiest of all!!!!!!!! Though I also spent half a day in KKH for Meia's case, she was not so difficult! Meia could be pacified with just Milo! Max was the easiest! 20 mins and I'm done!!!! This?????????...... anyway, Sono got me to turn to my left n I did, FINALLY the baby decided to be good n turned! Whew!!!! managed to see everything we wanted to and after 10 mins I went down to my gynae with a very good report!

Verdict : A LITTLE PRINCESS!!!!!!!!! (I asked hb : why are all the gals in the family so naughty ar?)

Happy 11 Months Max

Time flies! Little Prince will be turning 1 next month! For the record, he's now able to sleep through (finally, since last month), able to climb stairs on all fours! (I'm kept on my toes everyday just caring for him. Just the other day, when I was busy cooking in the kitchen, my helper told me he climbed up 6 steps! I was shocked n told my helper not to encourage this act). He's very attached to me, he'll cry when I walk away and then he'll crawl towards whatever direction I went in search of me.

He's also able to cruise now, which explains why my body aches everyday. After his bout of high fever which went up to 40 degrees, I'm just glad that he is developing well!

Happy 11 months Max!

Lotsa hugs n kisses
Mommy